Right there.

Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. - Liz Gilbert A gift. When life appears to be most perfect and put together. Then you start to realize, the smile you keep on your face, isn't genuine. You're not smiling for yourself anymore. Wondering, is this it? You are in a good place. I've learned that it's so easy to be like everyone else, to do the same thing, to go the same place. People may think that's an easy way to live. It's an easy way to lose the most important part of life- YOU. After facing some realities, the ones that you cannot sweep under the rug anymore, hoping not to trip over and fall. Yeah, those. Ugh. I'm starting to see who I am. That moment in life- Ruin. When everything is completely broken and crushed, pieces everywhere around you. You have no other choice but to sit there, look at all, face it all. You walk around and see each broken piece and particle and say "what happened." That's the beginning of healing and the path to transform. Start to embrace more challenges. People say that challenges come to make you strong. I feel like that come to reveal who you really are. That reality that hidden truth of your actual person God created you to be is right there. How do we get so consumed with other people's expectations? What that person has to say, or what they think is best for you to do or where they think is best for you to go cannot be they only thing we live for. What has become your identity? Family, friends, our job, church, duties, expectations? If every single thing we did was no longer required and all of a sudden stripped away- who would we be? What would be left of us? An undefined soul. If we've lost our identity, let's stay lost trying to find it. Once you get it, guard it with everything and don't let go. God created us in His own image. His own image for a reason. In the moment when you feel so lost is when you find the most freedom. The real you can actually be.

#ugh!

Frustration. It's that awful feeling that's not quite anger, nor is it sadness. It's just...ugh!!! If you're human, you probably face this irritating, most discomforting feeling quite often. Perhaps here's a question we love to answer: Where does it come from? Nah, we dare not answer that question. Instead we just wait for the frustration to pass. Almost like a flu virus that has to "run it's course", but all the while your body is suffering with the most unthinkable sickness.

What is this frustration really all about? Interestingly, the actual definition of Frustration is a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs (merriam-webster, 2012). This is so true. Seek the Lord and He will show us what it is. For me personally, it was Him instructing me to pursue something that I kept putting off because of laziness and me wanting to do my own thing. An easy frustration fueler is disobedience. This whole "my way" thing doesn't work. Blaming your frustrations on people and things, that doesn't work either. I gave up. I know that it would completely lift once I start doing. Now I can be happy and free from frustration.

Hebrews 12:1-2
...let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.

He ultimately has the solution. It may be that you're not doing what He's instructed you to do. Result: the longer you put it off, the more frustrated you become, the more unhappy you'll remain.

Allow God to search you and show you what's really going on. Be free. Be happy. Take frustration off repeat. Press the play button and hear what God has to say.

Puzzle Pieces

Apart of my childhood, one of the things I enjoyed doing was putting puzzles together. Of course it wasn't easy in the beginning, but as I got towards the end I could see the picture coming together. There it was, finished. Whether a flower, house, big pieces or extremely mini ones... I was even more ready for the next one. And that's how I feel in my life right now. I've basically completed my associates degree program. What an accomplishment :) With work, school and other demands in my life, I am so thankful to God for helping me get through it all.

Now what? Well, I kinda want to continue my education, but not at the same campus. I'm praying about a university. I believe I can take on the "big kids school" now. Business Administration is what I'm leaning towards, along with performing arts (music ed, theater arts), psychology maybe? I know I plan to start my own non-profit organization. It would be to facilitate a program for inner city youth, wherein they can have a place to freely express themselves artistically with their talent/gifts and understand that they have a purposeful life awaiting them and not false images and hopes pop culture offers or lack because of generational issues that they're not responsible for but are told they're destined to live out. I want to let them know God's purpose is waiting to come alive on the inside of them! The kids would have an opportunity to be challenged in a positive way with their gifts and later to share them at events for the community, etc.

So yeah, Business Administration here I come, along with performing arts. I have no idea how much or how long, but I know that's next. I would like to be in my own home next year also. In high school, none of this was even what I wanted to do. Well, maybe I didn't really know yet. All I ever talked about was music education this, music education that. I never even imaged "business" being a desire of mine. I thought it would annihilate my creative passions. But As I continue to seek the Lord, he constantly unfolds His plan for me. And I like it. From His perspective, it all works. I like to consider that my life is a puzzle waiting to be completed. God picks up each puzzle piece and places it in its proper place. At the end of the day, it's a picture of something really cool.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" say the Lord...

It get's better

Today was definately filled with a lot of interesting events. Started when I woke up late after setting my alarm for pm instead am. Encouragingly Katina said to me "It's gets better from here." I thought I received it. Next, I went to submit a document to my professor but apparently it disappeared from my computer because it wasn't there. Got to work and loss 50 cents in the vending machine. Yay. Logged in and then my wonderful co-worker came in which made my morning begin to be slightly pleasant. Later, I went to pick up our lunch and managed to forget about specializing his. #fail. However, he was grateful and I was looking forward for the day to end. After work, I head over to my intership with high hopes of betterment. Not. I went to help my boss proof read a document. Fine, easy enough. He asked me to print it on a particular paper. No problem. Once I made my final review, it was time to print. Somehow the printer go jammed...................

My boss comes over and of course he fixes it. I'm pretty sure in the back of his mind he was thinking something about me...like "she's probably thought it was like using a cell phone" I don't know. While he works on that, I decided it was time for me to get a snack, from another snack machine, that you put money into expecting a return of change. Unfortunately, I didn't see the "use change only when light is on" until after I put my dollar in. #failagain

Immediately I fisiciously wondered, "lord am I out of your will or is the curse manifesting early, I don't know. Anyhow, the highlight of my day was that in all of those time, not one time did I take a moment to speak negativity. I just smiled. I even had my friend tell me to "speak it". Which is pertaining to good and positive things. Which is what I encourage him to do. How ironic.

count it all joy :)

Cooking is therapy

I find the most delightful pleasure in cooking! Tonight I was hungry, and yes we had Martin's chicken but I wanted some vegetables. So I thought, "what would Katina do?" So I made 3 veggie dishes. Green beans with sauteed mushrooms and red onions, steamed white corn, and steamed sweet baby carrots. All with SEASONING!! Over the year, yes year, that I've explored the cooking journey, I've learned that seasoning is the key when cooking vegetable as well as olive oil. Rinse and drain your frozen green beans and season. (Tip: Frozen veggies have more nutritional value.) I personally like cooking my green beans in a wok. Preheat the wok and add olive oil, then place your seasoned green beans in the wok. You basically "stir fry" for about 10 mins. Add more seasoning as you go (use your best judgement) One of my favorites thus far has been Mrs. Dash Onion and Herbs, Tomato and Basil, and of course the Original. Other various seasonings that help me too like Garlic and Onion powder and a little salt and pepper.

Oh the possibilities of your recipes if you season appropriately! Katina and Ronni came home late and were absolutely amazed by my green bean recipe :) I tried to tell her last week how I learned how to cook from her but she denied and humbly said "no, the Holy Spirit taught you". However, tonight after tasting my green beans, she took responsibility of the fact that she taught me. I can't wait to get my hand in some other cooking projects!!

Disclaimer: only by prayer and direction of the Holy Spirit makes my food taste edible.

Raising Funds: Guatemala Missions 2011

Dear Family and Friends,

This summer (July 23rd through August 1st) I will be traveling with Faith Landmarks Ministries’ ROCKhouse Youth & Young Adult Ministry on a missions trip to Guatemala, in Central America. Last summer I joined our team on the El Salvador missions trip. One of the most unforgettable moments was on the day we visited an orphanage of youth. Those adolescent girls experienced parents who had abandon them due to prostitution or because of their own rebellious actions, and some were victims of rape.

After the team shared our drama, I noticed a group of girls sitting together. My group and I went over to pray with them. One girl in particular, Veronica, did not want prayer. When I looked her in her eyes, they began to water. Her face had loneliness and hurt written all over it. She told me that she was bad and that she decides to do wrong things. Immediately, I grabbed her hand and I began to share my story. When I was her age, my parents weren't there for me due to domestic issues. I felt lonely, hurt, and I wanted to do wrong because I was hurting too. Through Jesus, I found hope! I shared with her how God healed my heart. That His Love could satisfy every desire! I encouraged her to be strong and told her that God has a plan for her life! She began to cry and I gave her a huge hug and prayed with her. Thereafter, she smiled. After spending time with her, Veronica told me she wanted to be a singer. We sang songs together and she gave me one of her bracelets she made at the center. That day my heart was moved like never before. Among many other powerful experiences, God showed me why I feel compelled to go. It’s not just a trip, but my calling to share the Love of Jesus, the love He shared with me, to the Guatemalan people.

This year, in order for me to join this trip, I am responsible for raising $1,225. Would you prayerfully consider supporting me so I can go and reach Guatemala with the power of salvation in Jesus? Because this is a special project, please save the confirmation page as a receipt (this can be used for tax deductible purposes).

I look forward to sharing with you the life changing events once we return. We believe that God will do amazing things as a result of your prayers and financial support.

Love,

Sharda L. Byrd

You must each decide how much in your heart to give. And don't give reluctantly or in response to pressure. "For God loves a person who gives cheerfully" And God will generously provide all you need. And then you will always have all that you need and plenty left over to share with others. (2 Corinthians 9:7-8)

Don't Worry, Be Happy.

I truly had an eventful week. Playing phone and email tag with my career coordinator working on having my internship site approved. Moving around on the job due to a shift change. Challenges with my friends and family. Oh, and let's not forget that my computer had 837 virus within only two months of me having it. What a great week right? This is what could and maybe should encompass a "bad week". No. After being burdened down for Monday-Friday, today (Saturday), I was on my way to class and still feeling horrible. I put in the Be Lifted album(Bethel, Brian and Jenn Johnson) and begin to praise God. Actually opening my mouth to sing a praise felt like pushing an elephant on a gigantor swing set. Once I got pass my feelings, God showed me why I was stuck in such a heavy place. My mouth.

...And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. James 3:6

...................................

Between all the events that I experienced this week, I realize all my confessions were negative. It was like I turned off the positive switch in my brain and all I knew what to say was negative. So while he was showing me that I begin to repent. Repent for allowing myself to rest in the negativity. I mean, you have to be honest with yourself and face those challenging and yes, sometimes negative circumstances, but you don't allow it to beat you down and then stay there. Unacceptable. Sometimes the people closest to you suffer and they may need as much encouragement as you do! Complaining + murmuring= frustration, anxiety, mood swings etc.

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

I got the gist of everything before the semicolon, but apparently I wasn't applying the rest. It says "Tell God what you need..." I was so busy trying to figure things out on my own, when all I needed was His wisdom. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble, Come close to God and he will Come close to you. (James 4:6-7) Also I needed to "thank him for all he has done." I get it! Reflecting on what God has done,( there are like a katrillion great things He has done in my life, big and small) surely he could be faithful in my present situations!

After I activated Philippians 4:6-7, this morning, I was at peace. I threw off the garment of heaviness and put on the garment of praise. Besides, that one plus it makes me look better and it brings out my eyes.

Philippians 4:8-9... Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise...Then the peace of God will be with you.

The average day dreamer who sits and day dreams about swimming in money or being a star of a movie, doesn't come out of it slapping everybody angry and upset (depending on their mental condition) So think HAPPY! Think about what God has in store for you! Those deep, passionate desires He has placed on the inside of you :) Fix your thoughts on that.

P.S. indulge yourself with a lovely cookies and cream milkshake at Chick-Fila :) Treating yourself at times is always a cool deal!

speaking of happy, check this out :)

love ya!